Langlock
by Chaser921
Summary: Lily gets annoyed with James' constant attempts to ask her out, and Severus shows her a handy little spell to shut him up.


9

**Langlock**

Lily Evans hurried to the Hogwarts library, a scowl etched across her features. She was late for her study session with Severus—late because of James bloody Potter's hundredth attempt to get her to go out with him.

She shoved open the heavy door with enough force to slam it against the wall. As it flew away from her, however, she remembered she was walking into the _library_, and lunged to catch it. She was too late, however, and it hit the wall with a loud bang. Lily winced and ducked behind a row of shelves as Madam Pince rushed from her desk, her skeletal finger already raised to scold the culprit who had just disturbed the sacred peace of her library. Lily snuck across the room to the table where Severus was bent over his Charms notes. She slung her bag unceremoniously to the floor as soon as she reached him. He lifted his head as she dropped into the seat beside him, scrubbing her face with her hands. She let out a loud, exasperated sigh, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Something got your knickers in a twist?" he asked lazily. She glared at him through her fingers, then pulled her hands through her long red hair, the anger and irritation draining out of her nearly as quickly as it had filled her, leaving behind a weary annoyance that she had become familiar with.

"Oh, it's nothing, it's just…ugh!" she muttered.

"My, you're eloquent today," Severus said, one corner of his mouth twitching upwards into a faint, lopsided grin.

Lily sighed again. "Potter asked me out again today," she said reluctantly, and the grin vanished from Severus's face. "He grabbed my arm on my way here, asking for 'a word.' When I stopped, he told me he'd made plans for us to go to Hogsmeade together, and I had to yell at him to convince him I wasn't going with him." She scowled again.

"I'm still not sure he got it into his thick skull. Took me ages just to get him to let go of my arm!" She gave Severus an apologetic look. "That's why I was late, you see."

Severus pressed his lips into a thin line, but then he shrugged, as if he were trying to brush it off.

"Not your fault," he muttered.

Lily placed a hand on his arm, but didn't notice the way it tensed at her touch.

"I'm really sorry, Sev, I should've ignored him, I was barely on time as it was. I guess I was just…I dunno, hoping that, for once, he actually wanted to talk to me, really talk to me, instead of trying to get me to go out with him."

Severus pulled away and he lowered his head to his notes again. "You should know better than anyone that anything that comes out of Potter's mouth is arrogant nonsense. I don't know why you even bother trying to have a conversation with him," he muttered through the curtain of hair hiding his face.

Lily shrugged and bent over her own notes. They studied in silence for the next few minutes. Rather, Severus studied. Lily couldn't concentrate on Charms; her thoughts kept wandering back to the conversation she'd just had with Potter.

"You know, he's really not that bad when we talk about class and stuff; he's really quite intelligent," she said suddenly, and Severus looked over at her, startled. Her cheeks turned pink as she realized she'd actually said the words instead of just thinking them. She shook her head. "Sorry, Sev, it's just really bothering me, that's all. He's got the potential to be a good friend, if he'd deflate his head a bit and stop trying to hex everyone."

"Stopped trying to hex _me_, you mean," Severus said quietly, but Lily wasn't paying attention.

"I wish…I wish we could actually, you know, have a real conversation. But he manages to ruin any decent talk we have by trying to chat me up!" Frustration leaked back into her voice with her last words, and she shut the book with a sigh.

"I'm sorry, Sev, I can't seem to concentrate; I'm too worked up about this. Why don't we try to reschedule?"

"Our Charms test is tomorrow. Are you sure?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. She shrugged.

"I can't focus," she said simply. "Maybe if I had a way to keep Potter from bothering me, or at least stop him asking me out every two seconds…"

Instead of looking upset or resigned, however, Severus suddenly appeared thoughtful. A slow grin appeared on his face, and he leaned conspiratorially close. "I think I know a spell that will do the trick," he whispered. Lily leaned towards him in spite of herself.

"What is it?" she whispered back. Her expression suddenly became stern. "It'd better not be anything dangerous!" she hissed. Severus shook his head and held his hand to his chest.

"I'm hurt," he said, in mock pain. "I, do anything dangerous to James Potter? Really, Lily, what kind of person do you think I am?"

Lily grinned in spite of herself, and the ghost of a smile on Severus's face strengthened until he was grinning from ear to ear.

"Now remember, you have to do it non-verbally, or he'll figure out it's you doing it," Severus murmured to her before he headed to the Slytherin table for breakfast the next morning. She slipped into a seat at the Gryffindor table directly across from James Potter and his friends. Potter looked up in surprise as she sat, and gave her a delighted grin.

"Evans! This is an unexpected pleasure! How are you?" Black said smoothly, and Lily smiled at him.

"Pretty well, thanks, Black. Didn't get much sleep though; had to study for that Charms test we've got later today. I left it 'til the last minute."

"I was cramming all night, too," Pettigrew commented. "I don't think I got any sleep at all."

"That's not like you, Lily. Something keep you from studying?" Remus asked, curiosity in his eyes.

Lily shrugged. "I just hadn't gotten to it yet, that's all. It's not really a big deal; I'm not worried about this test."

"Oh, me neither," Potter broke in. "Flitwick's been showing us some pretty easy stuff lately. Well, easier than last term, anyway." He stretched his arms over his head and yawned.

"At least we've got Hogsmeade to look forward to this weekend," Lily said brightly, fingering her wand under the table. Potter grinned and leaned forward, a confident smile on his face.

"Right, about that, Evans, I was thinking we'd go—"

_Langlock_, Lily thought, pointing her wand at him under the table, and Potter's voice suddenly stopped. He grabbed his throat and opened his mouth, looking rather like a surprised fish. Black let out a shout, grabbing his friend dramatically. Potter shook him off irritably, motioning that he was fine. Then he pointed at his mouth.

"What's the matter, James, Kneazle got your tongue?" Black snickered, and Potter shot him a furious glance before nodding grudgingly.

"I'm so sorry, Potter, but I've already made plans," she said smoothly. "Like I told you yesterday." She stood swiftly and began moving away from the table as Potter's friends began trying to figure out why his tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth, and whether or not they should try to unstick it.

"Personally, I think it'd be rather interesting to see how long it lasts," Remus said thoughtfully, and then ducked as James hurled a piece of toast at him.

"But…but what if he gets stuck like that?" Peter asked worriedly. "He won't be able to talk, or eat, or…or snog anyone…"

James made what would have been a horrified yell at that last one, but came out as a muffled groan.

"Don't like that idea much, James?" Sirius asked, grinning. "Though I don't see why it's that much of a problem, as you haven't been snogging anything but your pillow lately…"

James glared at him, grabbed a piece of parchment out of his bag, and wrote on it in big letters, _TRY SOMETHING,WILL YOU? ANYTHING!_

Sirius yawned and sipped his tea. "I don't know, the silence is a rather nice change."

Remus snorted. "You mean now that James can't talk, you can monopolize the conversation. No, thank you." He pulled out his wand and pointed it at James, whose expression was torn between worry and hope.

"_Finite Incantatum_," Remus said firmly, and James's tongue came unstuck with a rather audible sucking sound.

"Bleh!" James said, making several odd faces as he worked his tongue and lower jaw.

Sirius snickered. "I can't decide which was funnier, the face you made when your tongue got stuck, or the faces you're making now."

James rolled his eyes at him and stuck out his tongue. Sirius wagged his finger at him. "Careful where you stick that, it might get stuck again!"

James quickly pulled his tongue into his mouth and took two huge gulps of pumpkin juice. A thoughtful look passed over Remus's face.

"How did it get stuck, I wonder. Did anyone hear any spells?" Everyone shook their heads wordlessly, though Sirius looked towards the Slytherin table.

"What about our friend over there?" he asked quietly. "He's pretty good at non-verbal spells."

Remus looked doubtful. "He's a little far away, don't you think? He could easily have hit someone else with it."

Sirius didn't look convinced.

"What about Lily?" Peter piped up suddenly. The other boys looked at him in surprise, and James snorted with disbelief.

"Really, Wormtail, how thick can you get? Lily would never do anything like that! I mean she's, well, Lily!"

Peter shrugged. "Well, yeah, but she was sitting right here, and it happened right when you asked her out. She always seems kind of annoyed when you do, and she's friends with Snape. Maybe he's taught her a few tricks," he said reasonably.

James scowled at him. "Even though she's friends with that slimeball, I seriously doubt she would've hexed me. She likes me! Deep down, anyway, I'm sure."

Sirius nodded, a patronizing smile on his face. Remus looked at his watch and downed his pumpkin juice.

"Well, now that you can talk again, James, we've got Transfiguration in ten minutes," he said as he stood, and the rest of the boys followed him, still speculating on who could've hexed James. Sirius was sure it was Snape, and though he didn't have any proof, he was sure he'd obtain some eventually.

During Transfiguration the whispering back and forth between the four was so persistent that even Professor McGonagall noticed.

"What's got you boys worked up _this_ time?" she exclaimed. "I thought that by now you would be mature enough to leave personal issues behind you when you entered my class."

She glared at them, and while Peter cowered appropriately and Remus looked a bit sheepish, Sirius grinned cheekily at her, and said loudly, "Actually, Professor, we were just discussing a new spell we've come across. Have you heard of a charm that glues a person's tongue to the roof of his mouth before?"

James glared at Sirius warningly, but he ignored it. Across the room, Lily glanced over at them, a smile playing on her lips. James quickly wiped the scowl from his face and plastered on his best smile, but it soon wilted as she looked away. Meanwhile, McGonagall was pondering the question, frowning.

"I don't believe I've heard of a spell like that, though I'm not surprised by its existence. It sounds like a charm—you might want to ask Professor Flitwick about it," she said, and Sirius nodded thoughtfully, the picture of the sober academic.

"Right, Professor, we've got him tomorrow. I'll ask him then. Thanks!"

She inclined her head at him before returning to the lesson, and this time, the boys took care to pay attention, or at least, look like they were.

After class, Lily was one of the first students out the door, slinging her bag around her as she went. She was eager to tell Severus about what had happened at breakfast. Her steps slowed as she heard her name shouted over the chatter of the other students.

"Evans! Evans, wait!" She smiled slightly as she paused and waited for Potter to catch up with her.

"Evans! Can—can I have a word?" Potter huffed, panting slightly, as he rushed up to her. She nodded coolly and turned so that she was half-facing him, her wand hand out of sight.

"Right, d'you have any idea of what happened at breakfast? I mean, did you see anything? Anyone waving a wand in my general direction?"

She shook her head, not technically lying. She hadn't really seen her wand move, as her hand was under the table.

"Oh," he said. He chewed his lip, as if debating with himself, before blurting out his next question. "D'you think Snape might've done it? I mean," he said hastily as her face darkened, "we're not on the best of terms, and I just thought he might've said…"

His voice trailed off as she glared at him.

"Even if he had said something to me, which he hadn't, I wouldn't tell you about it," she said coldly. Then she sighed. "Though, to be honest, he doesn't usually tell me when he's planning on hexing anyone, since I usually try to talk him out of it. But I'm sure he didn't do it," she added hastily. "He was too far away."

"I guess so," Potter said reluctantly. "Remus thought he was too far away, too. I just wanted to be sure, I guess."

He paused for a moment, and as Lily started to move away, he blurted out, "Why are you friends with him, Evans? I mean, honestly, not just because he's a Slytherin and I don't like him much," he added swiftly as her cheeks reddened with anger. "You're just, well, opposites, and I'm curious. You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to."

Lily eyed him for a moment, and he tried his best to look sincere. Since he was, it actually worked.

"I suppose it is a rather odd pairing, when you think about it," she murmured, smiling wryly at him. He smiled back, relieved that she wasn't still angry with him.

"I met Severus when I was ten, in a run-down park near my old house. My sister, Petunia, and I went there all the time to play. No other kids ever went there. I'm not sure why, because I saw them on the streets sometimes. But it wasn't a very good neighborhood; we lived in the best part of it, and Mother still worried about us all the time. Anyway, since we never saw any other kids there, I'd play with magic sometimes."

She smiled fully, remembering the fun she'd had, and saw an answering grin on James's face.

"That was a great deal of fun, back before we knew we weren't allowed to use it outside of school," he said, and she nodded.

"I used to fly," she said wistfully, and he glanced over at her. "Off of the swings, I mean," she said and comprehension dawned across his face as she continued her story.

"One day, Severus showed up and told me I was a witch. I think he'd been watching us to be sure, because he didn't hesitate or anything. I was mad at him, even when he told me he was a wizard, because he wasn't very nice to my sister. But he knew that I could do magic, and I was curious to find out what else he knew. So, I started meeting him, and we just…became friends."

She shrugged, and one corner of her mouth twitched up in a slight smile. "I know it's a bit odd, us being so different and all, but really, he's a good friend. It's true!" she said fiercely at the incredulous look on James's face. "He's very loyal, and he's fun to talk to, even when he's in a bad mood. And he'd never, ever do anything to hurt me. Not on purpose, anyway," she added, as a sort of afterthought.

James raised his hands in a placating gesture as she glared at him. "I never said he would," he protested. "You're just very different, that's all. I was just a little surprised. But, as long as he's a good friend to you, it's all right."

Lily's expression softened a bit, and she started to reach out to him, but just then a group of three boys turned the corner in front of them, clearly looking for someone. Lily's heart sank as she realized it was James's friends.

"Prongs, old boy!" Black shouted cheerily, and Lily saw James change suddenly from a quiet listener into a boisterous speaker.

"Hullo, Padfoot!" he shouted as she took a step away from him.

"Did you convince the fair maiden to go out with you, yet?" Black yelled, and Potter turned to her, a cocky, confident look sliding over his features like a mask.

"How about it, Evans? Sure you won't go to Hogsmeade with me?" he asked, and she was suddenly furious.

"Leave me alone!" she hissed, "I'm not some goal or prize for you to impress your friends with, and I _won't_ be treated as such!"

He stepped back as she raised her wand.

_Langlock_, she thought, and Potter's hands flew to his throat as she pushed past him, tears rising in her eyes. How _dare _he! He had no right to do that to her, _no right_, especially after he'd been all thoughtful and serious a moment before. They'd been having a conversation, _a real conversation_, and she'd told him something that was very important to her. And he threw it away the second his stupid friends walked up.

She hated James Potter, _hated_ him, and she was never going to stop as long as she lived.

In the Gryffindor boys' dormitory, James was making horrible faces as he worked his unstuck tongue for the second time that day.

"Well, I guess we know who shut you up at breakfast," Sirius said. "I wish she'd said the incantation out loud, though, so we could use it. It's a dead useful little spell. I wonder where she learned it."

"I told you it might be Lily! Maybe you'll listen to me more now," Peter said, smirking.

But Sirius just waved his triumph aside. "Maybe. Remember, this is one time out of something like a hundred."

Peter deflated quickly as Remus spoke. "You'd better be careful about what you say to her, James. What _did_ you say, by the way?"

James held up his hands helplessly. "I'm not sure, to be honest. I mean, we were having a perfectly civil conversation right before it happened, and then she suddenly blew up at me and hexed me! I didn't say anything offensive!"

"No, you didn't. At least, I didn't think you did. Girls can be pretty touchy, though. I'd steer clear of her, at least for a couple of days," Sirius said, stretching out on his bed.

James sighed. "I suppose I will," he said reluctantly, and Sirius laughed.

"Maybe it will teach you self-control," Remus suggested, smiling.

"Maybe," James said as he scowled at the wall. He'd get Lily to like him, he _would_! Even if it took ten years.

"Lily!"

She looked up blindly as someone called her name, pulling out her wand in case it was Potter again.

"Lily," she heard again, quieter this time, and she wiped her eyes hurriedly on her sleeve.

"Lily, are you all right? What happened?" Severus said in a hushed tone, reaching out to touch her cheek and wiping away a tear. That was all the encouragement she needed. She threw her arms around him and buried her wet face in his shoulder. Severus froze for a moment, then hastily wrapped his arms around her in awkward embrace, hoping desperately that she didn't feel how fast his heart was pounding.

"Lily," he murmured, "what happened?"

"Potter," she said, her voice muffled by his shirt.

He stiffened, suddenly furious. If that stupid arse had hurt _his_ Lily in any way, he was going to find him and teach him a lesson, no matter how many detentions he had to serve.

"Lily, look at me," he said urgently. "Are you all right? Did he hurt you?"

She was quiet for a moment, and Severus feared the worst, but then she raised her eyes.

"No," she said flatly. "I'm fine; he didn't hurt me. Not physically anyway. Just my ego."

"What happened?" he asked quietly, and she shrugged.

"I found out what I really mean to him. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He only wants me to go out with him so he'll look good in front of his friends, since I've turned him down so many times."

Severus didn't say anything, just held her tighter and thought dark thoughts.

"Oh, and now he knows it was me sticking his tongue to the roof of his mouth. I used the spell on him where he could see it. I was just so hurt and angry I couldn't help myself. I didn't say the incantation out loud, though, so they still don't know how to use it," she added. Severus gave her a slight smile.

"At least there's that. Though I wouldn't be mad at you if you had," he said quietly, and she smiled back before leaning her head back on his shoulder.

"At least I still have you, Sev. You're my best friend, you know that, right?" she asked, and he nodded, wanting to say that she was more, so much more to him than his best friend. But he couldn't get the words out, so he just held her silently, giving her the best comfort he could.


End file.
